A high-quality man does not chase women.
And today, I am revealing 4 dark truths about chasing women that all men who value personal growth need to hear.
When you understand what I’m about to tell you, you’ll be able to naturally flip the roles and become the man who women chase.
But before we dive into the four dark truths, let’s first clarify what chasing is.
Chasing is consistently pursuing someone who doesn’t match your level of interest or investment.
You can tell when she has a lower investment than you when…
- She doesn’t respond to texts as quickly as you.
- She isn’t as enthusiastic in conversation (one-word replies and not asking questions).
- When arranging dates, she might be consistently late or wishy-washy with your time.
- She doesn’t initiate contact as much as you.
A lot of men respond to this low investment by shifting into chase mode.
The harder she pulls away, the harder they chase.
And they may not even know they’re doing it.
In chase mode, you’re constantly compromising your own interests and desires.
You morph your personality into what you think she wants.
You’re also afraid to upset or disappoint her.
Essentially, when you’re in chase mode you’re inauthentic.
But that’s not the only truth about chasing women.
Here are four dark truths about chasing women you may not have thought about.
The Four Dark Truths
Truth #1 - You’re replaying old emotional wounds
If you have a habit of chasing women who aren’t interested in you, it’s likely that you’re replaying an old emotional wound or subconscious programme.
That programme might be something like:
- “I don’t really deserve someone who’s enthusiastic about me”
- “I have to WIN her love by doing the right things”
- “I can’t just relax and be myself with her because no woman would like that”
- “This is the best I’m gonna get so I better hang onto it”
Only you can learn for sure what programme is active.
And releasing it is where shadow work comes in which is something I talk about a lot.
Now this second truth is something you may not have considered.
Truth #2 - You’re stuck here because you enjoy it
A year ago I read a book that blew my mind.
It’s called Existential King by Carolyn Elliot.
The basic idea behind the book is that any behaviour we repeat, we do so because it serves us in some way that we might not be aware of.
Maybe you pursue women who aren’t interested in you because real intimacy scares you.
Maybe a part of you is looking to win a disinterested woman’s approval for your own self-esteem.
Or maybe chasing women is a form of escapism you use to avoid some other pursuit in life that scares you.
Understanding what your unconscious payoff is, is the first step towards letting it go.
Truth #3 - Chasing her ruins her respect for you
A woman can’t be attracted to a man she doesn’t respect.
When you chase her, you’re sub-communicating a few things that she’ll find hard to respect such as:
- Your lack of social skills.
- Your obvious lack of options.
- Your lack of self-respect and self-worth.
- Your over-availability (leading to your reduced value in her eyes).
Winning a woman over through grand gestures is the stuff of Hollywood rom-coms.
It rarely, if ever, works in the real world.
It’s more likely to land you a restraining order than a date.
Truth #4 - You attract emotionally unhealthy women
If you constantly chase, the only women who will encourage and welcome this kind of behaviour are women who match your level of self-worth.
These are women who feed off of the validation of men.
The exact kind of validation you’re giving her by chasing.
If you want a high-quality woman, you need to become a high-quality man.
And a self-respecting, high-quality man knows when to pursue & when to walk away.
High-quality men walk through open doors
A man who knows, values and loves himself knows when he isn’t desired.
A high-quality man naturally gravitates towards places, people and situations where his presence is valued - and walks away if it isn’t.
Instead of banging on closed doors hoping they open.
Drop in and become receptive to open doors and walk through them.
And if a door is closed, learning to move on is one of the best things you can do.
Not just for your relationship with women.
But for your relationship with yourself.
Take care, brother.
Oliver
P.s. if you’re interested in attracting a high-quality woman into your life, this is exactly one of the things I help men do in just 8 weeks (but it’s intense so be ready to commit). Book a free call with me and let’s put together your game plan.