This is an uncomfortable & controversial topic.
But it needs to be spoken about.
Some women emasculate the men they’re with.
Either knowingly or unknowingly.
In my business, I occasionally come across a man who isn’t happy in his relationship.
And he’s not sure why.
But when we look closely, we find that she’s acting in ways that shut him down.
And he allows it to happen.
It’s a co-created dynamic that’s destructive for both man and woman.
A man, above all else, needs to feel respected in his relationship.
Emasculation is consistent disrespectful behavior from the woman tolerated by the man.
These behaviors aren’t always easy to notice.
If you’re a man, you need to know what to watch out for so you can put a stop to it.
If you’re a woman and you want a healthy relationship with a man, you need to be aware of the behaviors to avoid - because emasculating him will kill his love and devotion to you.
So here are 5 ways women emasculate men.
1. Withholding sex or affection and using it as a bargaining chip
Withholding sex is one of the most emasculating things a woman can do.
And often this isn’t even because she isn’t in the mood.
It’s a way of punishing or controlling you or otherwise using it as a bargaining chip.
For example, she might think “he didn’t do the dishes, he isn’t getting any tonight”
Sex is extremely important to men.
And if that sexual expression is shamed, blunted, or suppressed.
He might come to believe there’s something wrong or dirty about him.
I’m not saying women should be ready to have sex at all times (obviously).
But using it as a tool for manipulation is a massive red flag.
2. Shaming or demeaning men’s activities
I once had a girlfriend who would make fun of me training MMA.
She’d say things like “have you got your testosterone out of your system yet?” or “it’s just a bunch of angry dudes punching each other”
She’d pretty much ridicule the idea of men getting together to do a sport.
An occasional joke is fine.
But a pattern of demeaning men’s activities is pretty destructive.
And if you allow this behavior, you might eventually internalize those beliefs and stop doing these activities altogether.
If you enjoy a team sport or meeting with your buddies to play poker, your woman might playfully tease you about leaving her, but generally, she should be supportive.
3. Criticism (especially in front of other people)
Masculine energy craves freedom.
What stifles it is control, criticism, and shut downs.
And a woman regularly criticizing their man, especially in front of other people, is one of the most common ways men feel emasculated.
When a woman criticizes you excessively, what this communicates is:
“I don’t trust you.”
“I don’t respect your decisions.”
“I don’t believe you are capable”
And it emasculates because being the critic of another person puts them in a position of superiority.
Your woman becomes your biggest critic and ultimately the one in charge.
4. Being overly controlling or bossy
I’ve got a great example of this from a few weeks ago.
I was DJ’ing at a bar. I took a quick break and went to the bathroom.
There was a long queue so I asked the guy in the middle if this was the queue to the bathroom.
And before he could answer, his girlfriend spoke for him saying “yes it is but you can go in front of him”
He tried to protest but I could tell he felt small and it was going nowhere.
But I ignored her and asked him if he was okay with that.
She butted in again saying “yes he’s fine with it”
In this relationship, I could tell she was the one in control.
He wasn’t her boyfriend. He was her bitch.
If a woman speaks for you, and attempts to control or change you - you allow her to rob you of your agency and autonomy.
5. Mothering
Mothering is when a woman routinely does things for you that you can do yourself.
When she mothers you, she’s telling you “I’m more mature than you, I know what’s better and I’m more capable than you”
She might have a point.
Maybe you do struggle with responsibilities or you can’t stop acting childish.
And if this is the case, developing yourself should be your focus.
Which behaviors have you experienced or currently experience?
Comment below and let me know.
Until next time,
Oliver