Alright, mate.
One of my favourite authors is (or was) Neil Gaiman.
He’s as British as a cup of tea and one of the most talented writers the UK has ever produced.
Tim Ferriss, author of The Four-Hour Workweek, worships this man like some literary deity.
But recently … I read a headline that shocked me to the core.
Another famous figure—admired, respected, even loved—accused of something horrific.
I stopped scrolling instantly.
“Wh... what?”
I couldn’t believe it. Impossible.
This is a man who built his career on storytelling—on exploring the battle between good and evil in his novels.
And yet—behind the scenes, the accusations say otherwise.
Now, let’s be real: these days, celebrities get accused of all kinds of things.
Not all of them are true.
But if there’s even a shred of truth in a case like this... then it reinforces an uncomfortable reality about human nature:
We all have a dark side. All of us.
And the more someone tries to appear pure, the darker that dark side tends to be.
This is why I often say…
Don’t try to be good.
Don’t try to be nice.
Don’t try to be kind.
Seek to be real, truthful, and honest.
Because truth is what sets you free.
Not just you—but all of us.
I must warn you, though, as I warn myself…
Embodying the truth is NOT for the weak or cowardly.
It will completely rip your world apart.
But your reward will be the closest thing to paradise a human being can experience.
(Or so I’ve been told. I’m still in the process of creating this myself.)
I’ve got a challenge for you today…
This is a practice I give my coaching clients:
Notice all the ways you tell lies.
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White lies.
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Grey lies.
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Black lies.
Avoiding the truth. Sugarcoating. Withholding. Spinning.
Literally, watch yourself for a full day and write your lies in a journal.
No judgement, by the way.
Some researchers estimate that the average person tells around 1-2 lies per day.
However, some suggest that people tell closer to 10-15 lies per day on average.
I honestly believe it’s much higher than that.
Simply committing to this practice is a huge first step in becoming a more integrated, confident, and grounded person.
Because doing this will reveal your own dark side to you—so you fully come to terms with it and accept it. This is what it means to integrate it.
When you integrate your dark side, you stop being so afraid that other people will reveal it for you.
You become invincible.
Ever watch that scene in Eight Mile with Eminem?
In the final rap battle, Eminem does the unthinkable.
He makes his entire freestyle about his own flaws and imperfections.
Suddenly—his opponent is speechless.
He has no ammunition left.
When you own your truth, no one can use it against you.
So today, I challenge you: pay attention to the lies you tell, big or small.
You might be surprised by what you find.
Interested in becoming a more authentic, truthful and confident man in 12 weeks so you can create deep fulfilling connections in your life?
Check out pleaser to leader here.
Stay courageous,
Oliver
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