Stop Avoiding Conflict and Start Sticking Up For Yourself

Alright mate

Are you afraid of conflict, confrontation or even raised voices?

If so, you might notice that this makes you:

• Tell white lies to avoid upsetting people

• Avoid necessary but difficult conversations

• Anxiously rehearse possible conversations in the future (only to cave and be Mr. nice guy when the opportunity comes around).

• Resentfully play back what you COULD have said when that person disrespected you or mistreated you.

In any case, the worst thing about all of this is what it does to your self-esteem.

When you never stick up for yourself, you tell yourself that you aren’t worth sticking up for.

And this sets a cycle in motion where you don’t believe you are worth much at all, in any area of life.

Show me a man who doesn’t stick up for himself and I’ll show you a man who is secretly miserable — living a life that isn’t even his.

So I say this with love.

STOP AVOIDING CONFLICT.

As a boy, you learnt from your abusive twat of a father that it was safe to be silent.

In school, your bullies beat you into a corner you never escaped from.

And from all of this childhood shit you went through … the boy in your mind learnt to associate ANY form of conflict as a threat to your survival.

But here’s the thing.

YOU AREN’T A BOY ANYMORE.

You are a man.

You are powerful.

You are capable.

You can take care of yourself.

If people got angry at you and raised their voice, you might feel anxious or uncomfortable — but you could absolutely handle it.

But you’ll never realise it until you start stepping into assertiveness and authenticity.

Here’s how:

1. Write down all the things you’re currently tolerating in your life.

2. From that list, identify the conversations that need to be had.

3. Set the goal of having one of those conversations this week.

Don’t expect to get this perfect.

We’re looking for progress. Not perfection.

Communicate the details clearly.

Tell the truth of your thoughts and feelings about the situation.

Ask clearly and directly for what you want.

Breathe into your belly during the interaction to handle the anxiety.

Rinse. Repeat.

You won’t recognise yourself in 12 months.

And guess what? Neither will anyone else.

You will lose “friends” but you’ll gain self-respect.

So stop hiding your light.

And start treating yourself as though you are the most important person in your life.

Because here’s the thing.

You are.

Stay courageous,

Oliver

P.s. if you need support to start showing up as the confident, assertive and unapologetic man who stands up for himself … book a call and let’s get this shit sorted. But only book a call if you’re in a place to financially, energetically and emotionally invest in yourself.